Shaking my foundations
A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine had a health scare which led us to have some interesting discussions about perspectives on life, love and legacy. Whilst it may sound like a rather morbid topic of conversation to be having, this discussion will go onto my list of incredible life learning experiences, in part because it led me to sit down and think about what I wanted my Legacy to be.
With this editorial power, I get the opportunity to craft what I’d like my impact to be on those whom I cross paths with during my lifetime, regardless of whether that journey ends today, tomorrow or (fingers crossed) in 40+ years. So I sat down and asked myself some interesting questions like ‘Do I really live each day authentically according to my values or do I often take the path of least resistance to keep the peace with myself and others? and ‘What is fundamentally important to me and do I spend my energy focused on these things?’
Over the past few years I’ve done various exploratory mental and emotional exercises around my Values, Beliefs and Identity, but up until now I’d never focused on Legacy. Maybe I’ve been choosing to side with ignorance, assuming that I’ve many more good years ahead of me to weave my personal work of art, when in reality the Reaper could knock on my door at any moment. I’ve always been mindful of quote by Wayne Dyer in which he says “Don’t die with the music still inside you”, but this hasn’t seemed to have translated into me actually taking massive action every day to focused solely upon the creation of my own concerto.
Although it’s fair to say that I have achieved a lot in my life already and that the way I live today is so significantly different from the life I had lived in the past, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that there are still some non-serving ghost s within me holding my masterpiece hostage for their own amusement.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, over the last few years, I’ve been challenged with facing my go-to way of self sabotaging, which is procrastination. True to form, I’ve procrastinated facing my procrastination, which has only led my frustration levels to soar as the notes of the unexpressed concerto thrash around inside me with all the coherence of a toddler let loose on a drum kit.
Obviously the strategic and rational way to tackle procrastination is to break actions down into bite-sized chunks and just do a bit every day. Before long, bingo you’ve completed the task and moved onto the next challenge. However, when my rational and emotional are diametrically opposed I’d lost connection to my sense of clarity and found myself floundering around in the midst of a raging storm of resistance.
It wasn’t that I was doing nothing. I always had plenty to do. But there’s a big difference between doing and being productive. Whilst I was wrestling with my own lack of clarity, I’d reverted to my childhood programming which is to focus on meeting the needs of others, rather than being driven by my own internal motivation. And whilst from the outside that might look like the ultimate act of service through Contribution, I knew in my heart it really was a way of meeting my own needs for Significance, Connection, Certainty and Variety through others. Doing acts like these come as second nature to me, they are easy. I found myself walking my own glorified path of least resistance, fueled by a sense of duty rather than passion.
It was time for me to shake my foundations again and approach life differently, to create my own concerto rather than continuing to play from someone else’s sheet music. And there it was….the energy I’d been looking for to face my procrastination. I just needed to focus on doing my things my way, because that’s what’s important to me. The value of Independence runs deep within me and trying to construct this next chapter of my life according to an outdated set of rules was never going to work. I needed to do something drastic, something that would shake the foundations of my comfort zone and topple me headfirst again into the world of the unknown. I actually thrive in the world of Variety, but somehow I’d found myself hunkered down having taken shelter within my Certainty zone.
So I made a new choice and I joined the 5am Club.
Whilst we can never control what and how things occur outside of us in our lives, what is within our power is where we chose to focus our attention and what we take action upon. Making the commitment to wake up at 5am and follow a mastery practice every morning for the rest of my life it’s something I do lightly.
The story I’ve told myself to date is that I can just do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it and that’s good enough. And whilst my good enough standard may be comparatively high, it’s not my extra-ordinary. Imagine what I can do if I actually try.
So I’m taking this leap of faith into the unknown as a way of shining a spotlight firstly on my procrastination ghosts which are fueled by a fear of failure, and I have no doubt that many other ghosts will emerge from the shadows to test my strength and commitment along the way too.
Yesterday I only had one person in my network who I know belongs to the 5am Club (there are probably more I don’t know about, if that’s you please give me a shout). Today, I’ve joined a group of 24k others across the world that are also walking this path. Whilst I am the one responsible for taking each step of my own journey, through the power of technology I don’t have to walk alone.
My greatest learning from my weight loss journey was that once a choice for change is consciously made, the biggest part of the struggle is actually over. All the suffering is created by the resistance to making the choice, not the change itself.
Surrounding yourself with others who are ahead of you on any journey is not only wise, it’s setting yourself up for success to have someone to lean on when you feel weary. And trust me I know there are going to be days I feel weary along the way.
So what does all of this have to do with creating my Legacy? Fame and fortune have never been my motivators for creating. For me it’s more about exploring what it is possible for me to achieve if I really actually try and in doing so inspiring others to walk their journey too. There’s an innate lifelong learner within me that’s driven to leave the comfort of the known and take another voyage armed with just my own internal compass, the wisdom of the 5am Club framework and a sense of curiosity as to what may just unfold within me and around me over the days, weeks, months and years ahead of me.
So with Day 4 badge collected, my support system created and my procrastination ghosts put on notice, I’ve leapt into my 5am Club adventure.
30 October @ 10:00 am - 31 October @ 3:00 pm