Hello my name is Heidi and I used to be infamous in the office for saying ‘I’ve just got one more question’. There was of course never just one more question there were always many more questions that would follow. I’ve always loved the quotation by Edward Hodnett “If you don’t ask the right questions, you don’t get the right answers. A question asked in the right way often points to its own answer.”
It wasn’t until many years into my Transformation career that I realised that one of my gifts in life was being able to ask the right question, at the right time, of the right person which would lead me onto finding a root cause rather than a symptom. This asking was never about eliciting an answer that was right (because right/wrong are subjective anyway) it was about understanding why something had already occurred or might occur in the future. This questioning was all about exploring the Law of Cause and Effect… X leads to Y type diagnosis.
The logic of Cause and Effect says if you eat less calories than you burn, you will lose weight. If you drink less (or not at all) you will not feel sluggish or have hangovers. If you don’t do things that create feelings of shame within you, you will no longer feel ashamed. If you don’t focus your attention on something/someone, then they no longer have your energy. If you say, think or act differently, you will step outside of your existing patterns and something different will occur.
Within the logical part of ourselves we all can probably recognise the above to be true, so why is it so hard to shift ourselves to doing things that will benefit us whilst avoiding the things that don’t? Why do we instead choose to stay within the hamster wheel of struggle? When the door to health, abundance and peace is right in front of us at all times, why do we not choose to open it?
Well, it’s our perceptions of what may bring us Pain, versus what may bring us Pleasure. It’s what we choose to Pull Towards us versus what we choose to Push Away. It would make logical sense for us to pull health, abundance and peace towards us, whilst pushing away illness, lack and struggle. However, the ghost stories inside of us seemingly have the ability to illogically scramble our emotions, thoughts and subsequent behaviour, leaving us in a place where our energy is focused on pushing and pulling efforts which are counter productive.
But these ghost stories aren’t there to ruin your life and to keep you imprisoned for eternity. They are there just trying to do their very best to keep you alive and safe. That’s all. They are trying to be there for you to protect you. They are literally your tireless support team of friendly ghosts working for you 24 x 7 x 365. They are just following the instructions that they have been given.
Ghosts don’t have minds of their own because they are not human. They don’t possess the Holy Grail of free will (attention) they just do what you tell them to do. They just follow the programming that you have given them. They never malfunction and they’ll never go off that script, unless you instruct them to!
I was chatting to a friend last week about how cathartic this activity of writing about my weight loss journey had been for me. This seems odd because my old emotional eating and alcohol patterns are so irrelevant to me now that I barely give them a passing thought each week, let alone have any interest in writing about them. But I’ve absolutely loved this experience of exploring my ghosts with you.
I had never envisioned publicly sharing some of childhood stories as the pull to not expose other’s behaviour is still very strong in me. But being able to share my experiences through my own lens has created a sense of actually really being listened to and heard for the first time. Nobody interrupting, making defensive comments or shifting the subject onto more comfortable topics. So if I’m the only one in the room whilst I’m writing this, who is really listening?
My ghosts are listening. They know now that they have been seen and heard, which is all they had ever wanted from me. They had been making as much noise as they possibly could for many years, running me head first into brick walls over and over again just following their programming.
It was my ghosts who led me into a successful Transformation career. It was my ghosts who taught me how to ask timely, intuitive questions. It was my ghosts who led me to experiencing the pain of thinking I was broken, lost and alone. It was my ghosts who told me my only purpose in life was to carry the hurt of others within me without complaint. My ghosts led me to my proudest moment in life to date, which is scaling my own Everest aka my weight loss journey. And my ghosts also tried to tell me that  even after I’d successfully scaled my Everest that no-one had even noticed, because I was still invisible and nothing had changed. Boo to them!
That’s the thing with ghosts they don’t partake in the duality of what we perceive as good and bad experiences, they just follow the programme. They will create whatever you ask them to create, whether you know it or not. Sometimes you just need to look at what you thought was true from a different perspective.
My ghosts have led me to sharing my weight loss journey with you. You might have noticed throughout this journey I’ve never given you my weight loss number. That’s because to me, it’s irrelevant and I haven’t actually stood on a scale for nearly 12 months. Your journey and my journey won’t ever be the same, so it makes no sense to ever compare or contrast them. My body is healthy, fit, firm, flexible and fabulous. I stand naked in front of the mirror every morning and smile. I ran this morning wearing a grin like the Cheshire Cat because I just felt so damn good.
And that’s my weight loss story done and dusted. That’s how I scaled my own Everest and reprogrammed my ghost stories from one of an everyday exhausting struggle with seeking relief (safety) from food, to being completely irrelevant to me.
I’ll say it once more for clarity, in my experience of having walked this journey, if you are in a long-term struggle with your weight, restricting food via any sort of diet or taking up a new exercise regime is highly unlikely to provide a sustainable answer. You’ve tried that before right?
So I have just one last question for you…
Is it possible that your struggle with food may instead be caused by ghosts hiding within you who are voicing ‘I am not safe’ stories to your Autonomic Nervous System and thus controlling your emotions, thinking and your subsequent behaviour?